Mental Makeover

At 37, I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Unfortunately, the time has come to admit, I am well into adulthood and should know what I'm doing by now. And who I am.

I'm on a mission of self-improvement for the new year. Losing weight would be great, but I don't enjoy that pressure. And I like food. I am trying to eat better, just for the sake of living longer with less ailments. I'm always "trying". Willpower is a fickle beast. Especially when you live in a city with a restaurant on every corner.

What I am "into" right now: cerebral enhancements and soul searching. My passion for pups has led me to volunteer at an animal shelter. My struggles at work have steered me toward brain-training games, reading more books and listening to classical music to help me focus. My general disposition (the way I handle, or don't handle, stress/people/life) has driven me to take up daily meditation and possible bi-weekly yoga classes.

Writing lists and scheduling events helps me attempt to keep it all going. I'm more inclined to follow through when I see an activity on a calendar, and I haven't over-scheduled myself for the day. Getting, or staying out of the house helps. too. I can tell myself I'm going to do yoga when I get home 1,000 times. But the minute I hit that recliner, it's "Downton Abbey" episodes with a blanket and snacks.

I'm having to push myself in a way I've never thought necessary before. Even further outside my comfort zone than just moving away from home. There were several opportunities to attend the animal shelter volunteer training before I actually did it. I would come up with an excuse each time and say, "I'll go to the next one." Finally, the new year arrived, and I was out of excuses, so I just told myself, "you're going." This sort of thing is hard for an introvert. Meeting new people scares the you-know-what out of me. Being in unfamiliar places makes be uncomfortable. But I think I've finally realized, I truly just need to not "be me" sometimes, for the sake of personal growth. And those other activities that allow me to revert to my inner, quiet, self...become rewards for good behavior.

Writing more is another goal of mine. I've started another journal on my computer, because my handwriting is horrible, and I'm so used to typing all of the time anyhow. I've read plenty of articles that say getting all your thoughts down on paper is a very good way to release. Hopefully, blogging more will also become a regular habit in 2016. I've really slacked off in the past few years. I think I had almost 80 posts one year in the early days! My goal has always been at least once a week, but I've found one reason or another not to write. I'll fix that. Excuse me, while I go add "blog" to my list/calendar :)