Saturday, December 22, 2012

Behind

I'm behind on my blogging.
I'm behind on my reading.

I'm behind on exercise, eating right, housework, Bug snuggling, Jack frolicking, Pmo time, yard work, vacation planning, coupon clipping, cooking, baking, crafting, scrapbooking, organizing, home improvement, vitamin taking, flossing...
you name it, I'm not where I want to be with it.

But it's not like I've been doing nothing for the past month.
Christmas sucks the life out of me.
I have a feeling January is going to be pretty boring.


How does one do it all?
How does one do all of this with kids?
How does one do all of this with work, and kids, and in-laws, and cooking, and hosting...

I'm exhausted and I haven't done half of that.

I'm also emotionally exhausted as I'm sure many of us are.
As a member of "the media" (if I hear that one more time...)
I have been inundated with the Connecticut school massacre and access to hundreds of stories that I choose not to drown myself in.
I'm actually pretty numb to shootings, even mass shootings.
But Connecticut was different.
Aurora was different.

There's innocence, and then there's selfishness.
I'm sorry you have mental problems.
I'm sorry you feel like you need to kill yourself in order to solve those problems.
But taking others with you, I just don't understand.

People that have nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with your issues.

Gone.

If I was a parent of one of those children, you couldn't tell me anything to help me understand.
God's plan, he/she's in heaven now, things happen for a reason, free will, evil in this world.

No.
Save it.

But I guess you have to believe in something to get you through it, or else the grief will consume you, the tables turn, and you may feel compelled to do something rash, unimaginable and tragic.

Whatever the answer is, I hope we find it. And those 20 little lives were not lost in vain.

Do something. Please.
We can't fall any further behind.