I have a love/hate relationship with my hair. Mostly hate. It's always been a thick, hard to tame, unruly mess. It was long and heavy down my back until college when I finally got out on my own, sorta, and was able to cut it. My parents never wanted me to chop it off. I used to cut pieces off and hide them in the closet or flush them down the toilet when I was a kid. Yeah, I'm neurotic that way.
Since college, it's been short most of the time. Really short sometimes, even boyish. But it was so much easier to take care of when it was short! And I always had a knack for styling it. I somehow knew exactly what to do with it. Or maybe it was just more cooperative.
I've grown it long a few times since the intital whacking. I'm at one of those in between stages now. It was actually getting past my shoulders a few months ago when I decided to do an inverted bob. But since it's been so hot lately, I tend to pull it back in a ponytail all of the time. Styling it takes too much energy. And heat. I don't want to have to fight it. I just want it to look right. With minimal effort.
But I know it looks better longer, so I go back and forth in my head, trying to figure out what to do. If I don't want to take the time to style it, then what's the use of having it long? If I cut it short, I can't pull it back into a ponytail at all. And depending on how short it is, it will always be on my neck somehow. And that gets tedious, too.
It's also so much easier to color when it's short. I used to be able to do it by myself but now I have my hair dresser just do the roots. There's got to be a happy medium or else I'm going to go back to my Dharma look. Something's gotta give. I'm afraid if I cut it off again, I'll regret it. But it's hair, it will grow back, right? It always does. In droves.
It's making me have an identity crisis. Along with my weight. I change my mind on that a lot, too. Some days I pull the "I'm happy the way I am" attitude. Other days, I know better. So we'll see what happens. I may peruse the short hairstyles section of the internet. Right now.