The Bucket List

Mom tells me many a story about Dad, but I found this one particularly funny.

He came in the house one day mumbling something about a bucket. And she says, "What?" He says, "I need to get a bucket of lyme. I need to put that on my bucket list."

She says, "Oh." And let it go. For a second or two.

Then she says, "Wait, bucket list? You need to put a bucket of lyme on your bucket list?"

He says, "Yeah, that's what I said."

Still trying to process what she heard, and what he must be thinking, she says, "Do you know what a bucket list is?"

He waits a moment and says, "I guess not."

Then she proceeds to tell him what a bucket list is.

He apparently took the term a bit too literally.

The end.

The Griddle

Mom got us a griddle for Christmas. Among many other things. The woman goes overboard. Anyway, when I took the old griddle to Goodwill, I somehow, accidentally, put the new cord with it. So now we had a new griddle, with the wrong cord, and no way to cook pancakes. We even looked online to see if we could order the part separately. No dice.

Fast forward to the day after Valentine's Day when we came back from Brown County to pick up the dogs at her house. I had debated on telling her the story, because frankly I was embarrassed that I could do such a stupid thing and ruin a perfectly good griddle. But I decided, what the hell, she might think it's funny. So I tell her. Then she goes outside and comes back in with another griddle! Pmo and I were flabbergasted. I said, "Where did you get that?" She says, "Out of my van."

If you didn't know her, you'd probably think this was strange. If you do know her, you'd know this is dead-on Darlene.